“Come here!”

She continues to pick up toys and throw them on the floor.

“Come HERE!”

It’s as if I don’t exist. How is it that I’m in the same room but she can’t seem to hear me?

“COME HERE!!!!”

I’m sure my voice must be loud enough to break some sort of sound record, but still, she doesn’t acknowledge.

“I SAID COME HERE!!!!!”

She finally comes. I’m at the peak of my frustration. A few minutes later when it happens again, I skip straight to the yelling. My tone lashes through the air and she shrinks beneath it. I’m handling things poorly. I know it and she knows it.

I wish I could be all kindness and sweetness and love all the time. But I’m human and so woefully inadequate. Gentle but firm would have been the right way to respond. Tell her to come, offer a consequence if she disobeys and then follow through.

The Bible says that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are the character traits that I want to model as a mom. The issue at hand is not my mothering ability but my level of surrender.

Ephesians 5:8 says, “Be filled with the Holy Spirit”. In the original language, the continual present tense is used. In other words this verse is saying, “Be being filled with the Holy Spirit” or “Continually be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

It’s not a one-time deal. It’s not a rushed prayer first thing in the morning. It’s not scanning the requisite daily Bible reading just before bedtime because I need to check it off my to-do list.

It’s not reacting to situations out of frustration and then repenting after the fact.

It’s making the time to get into God’s presence so He can renew my mind. It’s letting the refreshing of the Holy Spirit wash over me. And then it’s pausing throughout the day to look up and say, “Fill me Lord. I need You.”

It’s lifting all of the little moments to Him as they happen.

This is the only way that I will ever succeed in raising my children. Because it’s the little things that matter. The moments when I’m feeding the baby and changing diapers and picking up toys and doing dishes. The little moments that are offered like a sweet sacrifice.

God wants to meet me in those moments and pour grace.