Snow Rant

A couple of days ago, it finally snowed in my part of Canada. My daughter, who is almost two, was thrilled. I, on the other hand, was not. I’m stumped by people who enjoy the cold weather. You could tell me that a spaceship landed in your backyard and I’d think you were more sane than a snow-lover. White flakes are bad. Period. Any shampoo commercial will tell you that.

Being outside in the snow makes your ears burn. It makes your fingers and toes ache. It makes your teeth hurt. It even makes your hair hurt. And snowfalls result in endless shoveling. It’s hard to believe that people honestly enjoy spending hours of their day removing hundreds of pounds of white stuff from their driveways, only to wake up the next morning to find that the skies have dumped hundreds of pounds more. Personally, if I wanted to exercise, I’d take up jogging. Oh wait. I can’t. The sidewalks are covered in ice.

The Bible says to train up your children in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it. I come from a long line of people who have clearly trained their children properly. My grandparents owned a house in Florida so they could spend their winters there. My parents, who have embraced a more nomadic way of life, purchased an RV years ago and head south each year as soon as Christmas is over. They call me once a week to brag about things like sun-tanning on white beaches and kayaking with dolphins. Life’s rough.

I, on the other hand, have married a guy who can’t quite grasp the idea that northern people should migrate during the winter. But then again, his idea of a relaxing vacation is to forage in the wilderness for a week, so perhaps his opinion on such things is a little questionable. Whatever the case, it leaves me with very little hope for our children. I fear that, when it comes to this issue, their morality will forever be compromised.

But still, I’m trying to train our kids according to the Bible, despite the opposition. And snow, my friends, is not biblical no matter how you spin it. I’m positive that it’s just one more result of living in a sinful world. After all, if Jesus thought snow was all that great, He would have arranged to have been born in Siberia.

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